Sunday, January 15, 2012

My Mind Wonders Back to the Future

"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." Corrie ten Boom
Whoever has read The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom knows just how amazing she is! The Hiding Place is an autobiography of her life during Nazi Germany. Corrie keeps her faith even through her darkest hours of trying to survive in a concentration camp. If she can say this about the future then I can feel more assured and less frightened by my own future. I am not sure just why I am so scared for the years to come, but I am. I am learning though to trust my Lord and look forward with faith and excitement.

So I am a senior in High School. Being at this stage of life seems as if every adult that meets me must interrogate me and my plans for life. Truthfully, I don't have everything planned out yet. I have ideas and goals, I just am still discovering myself. I know my next step: go to college. To which college, I'm not sure yet. I mean I haven't even gotten my acceptance letters from each college I have applied for yet. The hardest thing for me though is I don't know exactly what I want to do with my life. I wish I knew the specific answer, but there are so many conditional pieces to the puzzle. I want to get married and have kids (my number one priority), which changes my whole perspective on where I want to go with my life. I also want to follow the will of my Lord and go the way he would have me go. It might take me getting into action and taking steps before He lays out His plans for me.

I wanted to write some of the options of things I have always considered in doing:
MY ULTIMATE DREAM: You know that one desire, that one wish you have always had in your heart. It is your dream. This is mine. I have for the longest time wanted to open an aquarium in Utah that would be able to hold habitats for dolphins. It is amazing just how much effort and thought I have put into this dream. There will always be a part of me that wants this dream to become real. I doubt I will ever let it go. Though recently I have been able to put it to the side to consider other things. Yet, I never want to let it go. I have planned the name, logo, drawn building designs, put together a list of animals, thought of names for animals, thought of ideas for community involvement, when I go to cities large enough I would keep an eye out for property that would house my facility, planned my office space, and I have even picked want music I would have in the background. Yes, I am obsessed. Yes, I am crazy. Yes, I still want to make it happen. For some reason, I can't place it, I feel like I shouldn't do it. Then the next moment I feel like I should. I do not know if it is doubt in myself or if it is just not the direction I am suppose to go into. So this is the point that is causing the most confusion. I am stuck between wanting to make this happen and finding a more logical answer. And I don't know which way to commit to.

Recently I have been looking extensively into becoming a teacher. Teaching has always been my back up plan, not trying to put it in a harsh way but the whole aquarium thing has always been first in my heart. I am not sure just what exactly I would teach. I have been leaning towards either intermediate age (6th-7th age) or a bit older or younger. I also have been deeply considering special education. I want to change others through my actions and I know that being a teacher will allow me to do so. I want to show those around me all that they can be. It would take much effort, but I know that there have been teachers like this for me.

I also have random interest. Recently I have loved digital designing. I also love anything social studies! I love genealogy and feel there is a future for me there also.

I'm going to focus on trying to clear some of my confusion, but I don't want to push anything and therefore forfeit guidance from my Savior. I willing put trust in my Savior to guide me through my unknow future.

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